An Obituary For Overwatch

This week, the unreal-powered remaster leaked online in its entirety . The game can only be played via Xbox 360 emulator on PC. Online gameplay, leaderboards, and achievements are not available, but the remaster does feature the ability to switch back and forth between the original N64 graphics and the updated HD graph


In terms of the style and rapid-fire nature of these games, the vibe feels more akin to the underrated Wii gem from 2006, Smooth Moves . The smoother, more dynamic motion of the Joy-cons allow this experience to really shine, with fewer rough patches or confusing mome

Overwatch wasn’t a failure. The servers didn’t need to go down. Blizzard has the cash available. If they can pay their nightmare marshmallow CEO millions in salary, stocks, and employee hush money , they can keep servers up. There’s no reason to insta-kill the original outside of shaking down fans.

There’s no reason to sunset Overwatch before Overwatch 2. I get if we’re eight years down the line and Blizzard is like, "Hey, folks. Had a good run. But nobody’s using these servers and we need them for all the HR reports Bobby Kotick has buried ." But by killing Overwatch, Blizzard is saying, "We already got your money, so you’ll play the new game or nothing at all."

You might think this is apples and oranges. You had to buy both Warcraft 2 and 3, just like you had to buy Smash Bros. Ultimate and Melee. Meanwhile, Overwatch 2 is free. You’re basically getting a new game for the price of only one game! Except, again, that doesn’t mean I only want the new game and never want to see the old one again.

But by essentially disabling the first Overwatch, Blizzard is fucking over people who paid money for the game. It doesn’t matter if they get free content for owning the first game - it doesn’t mean anything if you can’t still play original content you specifically paid for. I don’t care if Overwatch 2 is bigger and badder than ever before! When I buy a game, I’d love to be able to play that game. And if you’re shutting down a game’s online capabilities, at least be honest about it. Don’t talk like you’re doing people some grand favor.


The whole premise of Overwatch 2 is to offer a campaign. It’s not going to reinvent multiplayer, which is already a successful esport and will likely stay the exact same aside from the kind of regular updates we get now. All I want is for Overwatch 2’s campaign to be a blown-up version of Archives, though, as opposed to something that is emphatically single-player or something that incentivizes over-competing. I want it to give you plenty of opportunities to pull off a sick Barrage, but I don’t want Valkyrie or Coalescence to become pointless vs bots with stupid AI. I want there to be actual reasons for choosing to play as Winston instead of Hanzo, or Lucio instead of Tracer. I want maps that allow for the kind of absurd synergy you see in Assault on Volskaya, as opposed to just arbitrary ult-spamming in the middle of a wave-based minig

Overwatch getting shuttered and Stadia getting taken behind a woodshed isn’t the apocalypse. Most titles on Stadia already exist elsewhere and Overwatch 2 appears to be a real video game. This isn’t the end of all things. You can be excited about Overwatch 2 Tips 2 while still admitting it’s a crappy way to treat fans. The suits at Blizzard and Google (I know it’s "Alphabet" or whatever now, but come the fuck on) don’t care about you. Maybe that’s a cliche, but it’s worth remembering because it’s going to only happen more as the "take the money and run" strategy plays out. They’ll promise and swear that your purchase will be good and playable for the foreseeable future and then take that shit away the moment it’s convenient.

There’s also the porn. Oh my goodness there was so much porn. Overwatch porn hit harder than Tory austerity in a low-income council estate on the outskirts of Birmingham. I suppose it’s a testament to how much we loved these characters that fans were able to create detailed animated films of their main being drilled into oblivion. I respect that dedication, yet it also highlights how blatantly sexualised so much of the cast was, with many of their designs intentionally drawing in the male gaze with conventional body types and poses drawing our eyes to very specific parts of the body. Most of the girls were clearly designed by dudes. \


That being said, the two Bloodrayne games did get fairly recent remasters that can entice both old and new players to check this series out. The games might not be mind-blowing by any stretch of the imagination but serve as fairly competent action-adventure titles for players who want to check out a simple, fun, and gory ti

It’s the same corporate avarice that led us to Stadia , only Google was far more incompetent with how they sold it. Fortunately, Google has more money than there are gods in the heavens; they can (mostly) pay people back for the company’s mistake . But remember Stadia wasn’t a live game that just didn’t take off. It was an entire platform that didn’t take off. A platform that Google promised would stay online for the foreseeable future. And, like Blizzard, Google could also afford the servers.